Skip to main content

New Year, New Blog

And so, having been swallowed by Christmas and poorly kids for a couple of weeks, I find myself at the end of 2017. With that must come the end of this blog, as it has already lasted a month longer than planned.

A few final thoughts, however - because I’m not actually capable of shutting up. Ever.

Firstly, please consider ‘giving back’ in 2018. It makes you feel good, or in Big Words: the positive effects on your mental health are well documented. If you get involved with a charity that has touched your life in some way, you are likely to find a tribe of people Just Like You, whether that’s SEN parents, cancer survivors, anti-suicide campaigners or whatever else is relevant to you or your family and friends. And if this blog has shown you anything, it should show you that you can be sponsored to take on any crazy challenge you can think up. Think of something your friends wouldn’t expect you to do, then do it. Or call your favoured charity and ask if you can help in some practical way, using your professional skills or giving up a small chunk of time for something that needs doing, as a one-off or regularly. Or, of course, give cash! Perhaps this act won’t result in quite the same self-care boost, but charities - especially small charities like ADD-vance - can’t keep going without cash donations. A small monthly donation is helpful in budgeting terms, or give what you can when you can. ADD-vance followers, remember that a place on the 6-week course costs £150. Could you challenge yourselves to  fundraise or contribute that much money, even if it takes years? Or even the £2,200 to fund an entire course?

My next ‘thought’ is that I can live without alcohol. At a point in my life when I need to rebuild after an extended period of stress, on-and-off depression and self-neglect, it makes sense to hold off on the drinking. I need to prepare for the future, which, as my boys and I grow older, is not going to get any less challenging. The initial 90 days gave me a sense that with some effort - and with external accountability - I can make things better for all of us by making things better for myself. The hole I’ve been down is waaay too deep for a rapid exit, though, so I’m going to give it another year and see if I can get anywhere near the surface again.

Finally, my surprise discovery: blogging is a thing I need to do. It makes me accountable, it helps me figure out what I think, and it gives me a place to rant when I need to rant. And so I’m starting a new blog, The Mum-Care Diaries. This will chart my attempts to look after myself, in spite of being a Mum, because of being a Mum and while simultaneously trying to avoid getting sacked from being a Mum. Maybe if I parent myself a bit more effectively (make myself eat and sleep reasonably, for example), it will somehow rub off on the kids and make that Mum job a bit easier. Who knows? It could be a total disaster. Or maybe not. I’ll let you know in a year.

I would love it if you would carry on reading and supporting the new blog. There’s nothing on it yet, because I’m a rank amateur with a houseful of kids, but this time there’s going to be a Facebook page as well as the blog, so please sign up to follow me.

The blog address will be

On Facebook you can find me by searching The Mum-Care Diaries. I did try to work out if I could post a link, but I have a tech skill level of zilch. If anyone knows how to do it, please post it in the comments!!

And so to all of you, thank you. Thank you for supporting me, and thank you for supporting ADD-vance. ADD-vance are more than £700 better off because of you wonderful people. I wish every one of you a 2018 of health, happiness and self-care xx


  1. :) So glad you are carrying on! Everyone needs to hear you :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

After the End: ADD-vance, Honesty and Community

So last Friday was the 1st of December, marking the end of my 90-day drought, and I may have had a drink or two to celebrate! A few friends from ADD-vance came over, and a lovely lady with a big bag of skincare products. (Laura from Arbonne, if you’re interested! Very lovely indeed and another who has used ADD-vance services.) With my kids duly threatened and bribed, I had the kind of chatty evening-at-home-with-friends-and-make-up-and-wine that I haven’t had since, well, the early 90s. If you take out the girlie pampering bit, I need only track back seventeen years to August 2000, when my husband was away for his Stag Do and a select group of friends came for an all-female slightly tipsy sleepover. Either way, I was overdue a girls’ night at home.

The 90 days of my challenge have flown by, especially the last week. There’s so much still to say about ADD-vance, about self-care and about the mind-shift I’ve experienced just by making one small change to my lifestyle.

What I have realis…

The ADD-vance Community

So, it turns out you readers are a lovely lot and met my previous honest post with honest messages of your own. How is it that we all have so many hidden wounds and carry so much guilt about things that were never our fault -- like, say, postnatal depression? I can only hope we sort ourselves out for the next generation of Mums, and that the difficult conversations become the norm, and that no future parent is turned away or dismissed when they ask for help. I do actually believe that blogging Mums are making headway here, as nobody can shut them (/us) up, and all it takes to share reflections is a click on a facebook page. It's a powerful community.

Which leads me neatly back to ADD-vance, which has become a powerful community for SEN Mums in Hertfordshire, all thanks to one Mum who didn't want anyone to be as alone or unsupported as she was when her son was diagnosed. (That's Anne Ross, who still runs ADD-vance, 21 years on, and who deserves every medal going.)  Before t…